This Doesn’t Happen to You?

For my entire adult life, I have never been on a girls’ trip. Traveling for me takes A LOT of planning. And researching every. Single. Detail. I have to allow extra time to get to point A and B. I have to analyze the cost and what is accessible. I have to have specific lodging accommodations. I have to figure out who’s going to help with my personal needs. So, it just never worked out for me to travel with a group of people. 

I had my first girls’ trip with my friend Anna and a group of her friends for her bachelorette trip. I was insanely excited. My sister tagged along to help me which I was immensely grateful for. What I was nervous about was that I had to miss out on activities or things because of my disability. I have severe FOMO and feel like my disability limits me in some ways when I’m with a group of people. I have been in situations where my needs were not considered within a group and I felt hurt and left out. I usually appreciate a heads-up or question ahead of time, but most of the time accessibility is not something that crosses people’s minds. 

I don’t ever want people to feel like they can’t do something because of me and my disability, but at the same time, it does sometimes hurt when you’re left out. It’s a complicated line and feeling. One I’ve learned to ignore mostly and only spend time with people who do include me. 

We did ax throwing! I cheered on the girls.

I never expected to learn things about myself on this bachelorette trip or about what it’s like to have a disability. Considering that I’ve been living with my disability my entire life. But this trip was unique because Anna’s friends got to experience what it was like to travel with me. I had not met most of them before and they don’t have personal experience with disability. 

The trip was on the beach and if you’ve read my previous blog post, you know how challenging the beach can be for me. Anna was a gem and said I didn’t have to even go on the trip or go to the beach. Being the determined person that I am, I said I was absolutely going no matter what. She made sure to book a condo that was accessible and would work for me, as well as fit her needs. She even got an additional parking spot for me so it was an accessible spot. I never even had to ask!

We got to the condo, and it was fairly accessible! 

I was super lucky because Panama City Beach had electric beach wheelchairs available for rental. I’ve traveled to a few beaches before and have never seen electric beach wheelchairs available. Thanks to Beach Power Mobility, I was able to experience my first ever walk on the beach and being in control of my movements on the beach.

It’s something to think about how I rely on others to move me around on the beach. Most of the time, I stay sedentary because it’s quite an ordeal to move the behemoth chair across the hilly sand. Beach Power Mobility dropped the beach wheelchair off at our condo and our condo was on the second floor. We would have to fold up my Hoyer lift, roll it across the hall, down the elevator, and through the lobby, to the pool area where the chair was waiting for me. I had to do that each time I wanted to get in and out of the wheelchair. The wheelchair was too big to fit in the elevator. Once I was in the wheelchair, my sister propped me up by using towels and blankets so I’d be comfortable.

My sister and I on the beach.

Bonfire night!

One night, we had booked a bonfire on the beach where a person came out to set it all up. We walked two miles in the sand, in the dark, towards smores and the glow of fire. I was walking in the beach wheelchair with three of Anna’s friends. 

As I was strolling along, an older man exclaimed, “I need to get one of those for my mom!” 

The girls looked bewildered and confused. I was surprised to see their faces. I immediately knew the man was talking to me about the beach wheelchair. The girls all looked at each other and around, not sure who he was talking to or what he was referring to. 

In my brain, I thought, “Oh! So regular people don’t have strangers come up to them or make comments all the time.” 

I kind of had no idea. It’s such a regular occurrence in my life. And I even knew what he was referring to even though he never explicitly said “wheelchair.” My brain just went there and I have to put the pieces together immediately. 

I didn’t feel ashamed or embarrassed. It was just interesting how I realized that strangers come up to me acting like we’re best friends sometimes. They’ll strike up a conversation whether I want to or not. That can be good and bad at times. Sometimes I feel like talking, and other times I don’t. But it was really cool to see Anna’s friends experience that. I got to witness it through their eyes. Who knows what I might discover on my next girls’ trip?